Spam, glorious spam!

This past weekend, I passed a very notable milestone in my career as a woodworking blogger.

My anti-spam filter caught the 10,000th spam directed at my site!

No, I don’t normally like to write about things not directly – or at least not circuitously – related to woodworking, but this, my friends, is a monumental occasion.

Every day since Tom’s Workbench first opened for business, I have signed in to see a tangle of spam comments caught in the filter like the clotted mats of my wife’s hair I occasionally have to snake out of the bathroom drains.

Increase the size of my you-know-what!  Buy cheap Ambien online! The government is coming to get me!

I can hardly contain my excitement….

Some of the spammers are clever, heaping praise on my writing, hoping I will just blindly approve them with their links.  Here are their comments with the ‘names’ as given to me (BTW – of COURSE I removed all of the links… I care too much about your computers to blindly link you somewhere!):

I had fun reading this post. I want to see more on this subject.. Gives Thanks for writing this nice article.. Anyway, I’m going to subscribe to your rss and I wish you write great articles again soon.

* Cast Aluminum Bistro Set

Dear Cast, thanks for the compliments.  Now, where’s my espresso, barista?

Good day. Initial I need to say that I actually like your webpage, just observed it last week but I’ve been following it since then.

I seem to be to agree with most of your thinkings and beliefs and this post is no exception. I fully

Thank you for the wonderful website and I hope you keep up the good function. If you do I will keep on to browse it.

Possess a wonderful day.

* Americanfridge.net

Fridge… you got my personal motto in there. Carpe Diem – Have in your possession the day.

Other spammers come fishing, looking for me to click on a website in order to weigh in on a topic or a product. Of course, if I click on the link, there’s a good chance my laptop will pick up more viruses than you would get gumming the toys at the end of a day in a daycare:

Hey all,

I’m currently doing research about the general opinion of the iPad. What do you think about it?

It seems like not everyone is thrilled about the iPad. They say the iPad has been hyped too much by Apple and it’s not nearly as revolutionary as they make us believe it to be. On the other hand there people can’t wait to get their hands on it.

What do you think about the iPad and it’s features? I will collect some of the input and write a nice article about it!

* James Denardo

Jimbo – Can’t give you my impressions about the iPad, because I don’t work for Apple and I – like everyone else on the planet outside of Steve Jobs – haven’t actually held one in my hands. However, when Apple does come out with the iRouter, iSaw or iChisel, I’m all over it.

Hey I just wanted to let you know,

* pnömatik

Pno… thanks for the heads-up… I really appreciate it.

Other spammers seem to be speaking in tongues, firing off salvo after salvo of gibberish in an attempt to get as many links to products and services out in one post as possible.  Fer instance…

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* Dekelupgovoy

Dek – Huh? Did you blow up a dictionary or something? Yes, there are plenty of words in the English language.. but you don’t have to use them all at once…

There have suddenly been a run on jokes tagged to the end of spam posts as of late.  While still annoying, at least they offer some comic relief.  For instance:

I have a fresh joke for you, Reporter: Who would I blame if California fell into the Pacific Ocean? Geologist: It would be San Andreas fault.

I have a nice joke. How many letters are in the alphabet? Nineteen. Because ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.

Here’s a good one for today. What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backward in unison? A receding hare line.

Groaners, for sure.  But, at least they are trying…

Fortunately, in this world of full of divisiveness and adversarial relations, it’s good to see people sometimes are in agreement:

All times that I arrive hire, feel me very good. Your site is excelent.

* Leslie Carline

All times that I arrive hire, feel me very good. Your site is excelent.

Reyes Dalcour

Leslie, meet Reyes.  Reyes, Leslie. First of all, let me set the record straight… I don’t touch any readers who come to my site.  Never. So, I’m not sure about the allegation of inappropriate touching. Also, not only are they in lock step agreement about the quality of my site, they also misspell the same words!

I’ll keep on putting out that high-quality content, and you guys keep those cards and letters coming…

Link of the week

WikiHow’s Guide to Playing the Saw

A talented woodworker can make a saw sing as it slices through wood.  And, then there are people who can just make the saw sing.

Yes, there are people who actually play their hand saws as instruments.  By holding the handle, bending the blade and using a violin bow or your bare thumb, you can coax musical notes from the tool.

Sure, it takes practice, but it beats throwing away a hard-working saw at the end of its life…

It’s a responsibility

Make a list of the things that a woodworker needs to do his or her craft.  What would you put on it?

Tools would be up there. A place to work would be nice. A way to support and secure your work wouldn’t be bad.  Maybe a few measuring devices…

Oh, and you need wood. Depending on the size of the project, sometimes, lots of it.

Maybe hard, durable woods like maple or hickory.  Maybe woods that work well for carving like mahogany or basswood.  Sometimes, you need inexpensive stuff that works well, like southern yellow pine or red oak.  Veneers. Plywood.

Even the ubiquitous 2×4 whitewood stud to make push sticks and other shop jigs.

Wood is used in a wide variety of applications.  There’s furniture making and construction for sure, but it’s also used in papermaking, chemical products – even food production.  But, for many years around the world, trees were cut down with little thought to the impact on the existing forests.

In many western European countries, going at stands of trees with the axe was vital. Countries such as England plowed through their native forests harvesting timber for ship building, dwellings, bridges and other structures. It became an implied duty for the wealthy landowner to sow a handful of acorns on his property to help ensure there would be enough native wood to keep the Royal Navy afloat.

Then, the colonization of the Americas happened. Settlers were stunned by the incredible number of trees to be found everywhere on the continents. It’s been said that a squirrel could cross from the Atlantic Ocean to the Mississippi River by hopping from tree branch to tree branch, never having to set foot on the ground. Soon, axes were hard at work, harvesting lumber for domestic – and exported – uses.  Millions of acres were also cleared to make room for the farms to feed the burgeoning population.

Click on image to enlarge

Fast forward to the early 20th century.  Many of those lush forests were now nothing but an empty landscape, devoid of anything but the occasional ragged stump left over from the clear cutting operation.

Fortunately before all of the virgin old-growth forests were lost forever, government and industry sought ways to slow or reverse this alarming trend. “Without wood, there’s no woodworking.  Period,” said Eric Poirier of Bell Forest Products. “That’s why it’s extremely important to everyone involved that responsible forestry practices are followed as we keep moving into the 21st Century.”

To that end, responsible lumber merchants are active partners in combating the illegal harvesting of domestic and imported hardwoods. “Wood is one of the most important renewable resources, but only if it’s harvested responsibly.”

How do retailers ensure their supply meets stringent responsible standards? “We only deal with lumber wholesalers and log dealers who actively combat illegal logging.” Eric was very candid about the company’s policies. “We make sure our suppliers have policies in place regarding planned felling, minimum tree diameters and felling rotations to ensure regrowth of the affected area.  When we as retailers – and our customers – demand these practices, the wholesalers and loggers listen.”

How can a woodworker know if their lumber retailer works with responsible loggers?  “Ask lots of questions when you go to your supplier. In today’s world of environmental consciousness, many retailers are touting their practices on their websites or at their stores.  If they don’t – ask.”

One area of specific concern for many woodworkers is the questionable logging practices of developing countries. “Some of the world’s most beautiful wood comes from South America and Africa. Unfortunately, some of those species we love so dearly – ebony and rosewood – were logged extensively and today are very rare.”  To help preserve these important trees, organizations such as the Forest Stewardship Council were created.  This international body’s mission is to slow the overharvesting taking place around the world, with a specific focus on tropical woods.  Founded in 1993, the organization has seen some success in trying to slow the overharvesting.  But, much remains to be done in order to preserve these resources.

After all, it’s not just today’s woodworkers who can be impacted by our actions. “I have two young children.  When they get older – and should they want to woodwork – it’s up to all of us to take our responsibility seriously so they can supply us for generations to come.”

Time to tune

Music is cool. I keep my iPod strapped to my arm most every day, listening as I go about my business.  If I’m writing at work, it’s classical. On the bike?  Something with a driving tempo to help me keep my pace. And then there is my favorite.. anything with a kickin’ bass groove.

Regardless of the style of music, there’s one thing that all musicians have in common: They know that their instruments are worthless for making music if they are out of tune. Even if you don’t have a musically-trained ear, when a piano hits a note that’s not quite right, you will notice that something’s out of whack.  Same thing with a guitar, a violin – whatever.

That’s why before a performance you can watch band members spending time in a sound check, tuning up their instruments to give the right sound during the show. Pluck the string, tune the string, pluck it again until it’s just right.

Unless you are woodworking in front of a camera or a group of woodworking students, there’s a very good chance that you will be performing for an audience of just yourself. But, the same principles apply.

Tuning your tools is a critical part of the building process. Not only do well-tuned tools perform better – they are also safer to work with. They give superior results for the project you are working so hard to complete.

But, where to begin? For power tools, the best bet is to crack open the owner’s manual or a book or website dealing with your brand of tool. This will give you the know-how on how to tackle this task.

In many cases – especially for your power tools, just getting all of its internal parts clean and free of sawdust is a critical first step.  All of the sensitive gears, tool blade and bit holders and sensitive electric windings perform much better when not jammed up with crud.

Alignment is another critical part of this tuning up process.  Lining your rip saw parallel with the miter slots and blade on your table saw gives superior results and helps to reduce the likelihood you will see a kickback.  Getting those band saw wheels coplanar will increase the life of your band saw blade and how well it tracks. A few moments doing these tasks can save lots of time and trouble later.

And, when it comes to bits and blades, you can’t beat clean and sharp. Get the gunk off your table saw blades and router bits. Plane irons, chisels and hand saws, properly honed to a razor sharp edge, make hand work a breeze.

Does this take time away from woodworking?  You bet. You won’t be able to jump headlong into building.  But, just as with any musician, if you don’t take the time to tune your instruments, your work could very easily hit a sour note.

Quick Poll

What part of the newspaper do you read first?  Sports? Business? Local news?

Many woodworkers – and others looking for a deal on products and servicees – will often pull the classified ads out of their local paper and go through them first.  There, people who are looking to get rid of their old stuff list their items at what usually is a bargain price.

This week’s question – have you ever purchased a tool through classified ads?  These can either be in the paper or – now that we are in the 21st century – online at a service like Craigslist.

[poll id=”114″]

Link of the week

The Pinewood Derby

Called one of the celebrated rites of spring by Reader’s Digest, the Pinewood Derby has been an annual tradition for the Boy Scouts of America since 1953.

With just a block of pine and four plastic wheels, scouts are encouraged to let their imaginations run wild. Carving, cutting and shaping the plain wooden block, each scout’s creation is a unique reflection of their creativity.

Of course, these cars aren’t just for show. By building their cars with care and precision, each scout improves his chance of rolling faster that the opposition. Of course, the idea is to have fun!

If you are interested in trying your hand at building one – even if you aren’t a scout – many sites offer the official kit for you to purchase and try your hand at building a racer of your own.

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