Spring is here – which means that lots of couples will be saying ‘I do’ as they tie the knot.  Here in Florida, we are no exception to the rule.  Two friends of mine recently sent out their invitations, and – as I am wont to do – I offered to build them a project as their wedding gift.

Last weekend, I had a day where I was going to be free to do some intensive woodworking.  To offer a glimpse into my shop habits and the speed of my work, I decided to start a stopwatch in order to time how long it is taking me to build this box. This way, I could measure the amount of elapsed time for each step in the process.

Was I trying to break a record?  Nah… But, this exercise did offer me an interesting glimpse into how long it takes to build and what steps I was doing at each point in the process.

The project is a small cherry box with mitered corners reinforced with dovetail splines.  It will have a lift-off lid and a solid cherry bottom.  Kind of basic, but still a nice piece which will prove to be an interesting project.

Now, I did choose my boards before I started, and I did edge-glue a wide piece of walnut for the splines.  And, the wood I was working with was already surfaced and dimensioned, so that milling step wasn’t necessary, saving time.

Before I started, I made sure that I had the basics:  Radio tuned to favorite station – check.  Refreshing beverage – check.  Eye and hearing protection at the ready – check.  Measuring devices at hand – check.

I started the stopwatch, and kept notes as I went along:

• 0:00:00 – 0:03:50 – Rip Boards to width. My saw is tuned up, so the cuts came out very smooth with minimal additional work required.
• 0:04:00 – 0:13:00 – Sweeten boards with a jointer and smoothing plane.
• 0:13:00 – 0:28:00 – Cut sides to size, cut miter joints on edges of boards with the compound miter saw.
• 0:17:45 – Ask kids where the shop vac is.  After three choruses of  ‘I don’t know’ my oldest son remembers that it was on the porch and brings it back.  Good boy.
• 0:18:40 – Ask my oldest son if he knows where the  hose attachments are for the vacuum.  “Oh, I forgot them.”  Brings them to the shop.
• 0:23:14 – Discover that it’s too warm in the shop I turn on the A/C unit.
• 0:28:00 – 0:33:00 – Groove sides to receive the bottom.
• 0:33:00 – 0:40:00 – Discover I had cut the grooves too wide and make a note that I have to make the tongue on the box bottom thicker.  Sweeten up the groove with chisel and router plane.
• 0:40:00 – 0:56:00 – Carefully cut top and bottom of box.  Mill tongue on bottom.
• 0:56:00 – 1:11:00 – Wife checks in.  Begins to ask in great detail about upcoming party plans for my youngest son’s First Communion.  Spend 10 minutes discussing the merits  of cubed cheese tray vs. sandwich ring.  Ultimately tell my wife to order whatever she thinks works best. She leaves shop in a huff.  “You don’t care about planning this event!”  Oy….
• 1:11:00 – 1:25:00 – Regain composure, glue up mitered sides of box.  Clamp assembly.
• 1:25:00 – 1:33:00 – Spend time to clean up work area. Stare dumbfounded at bench wondering just how many tools are pulled out just to get this far…
• 1:33:00 – 1:50:00 – Mill top elements.
• 1:50:00 – 2:20:00 – Glue up top and inside ‘plug’ of walnut for lid.  Take immense care to ensure the plug is centered and doesn’t shift when the clamps are installed. Plug shifts anyway.  Minor oaths uttered.
• 2:12:25 – Wife enters shop wearing bathing suit and informs me she’s bringing the kids to the beach.  “You sure you don’t want to come with us?” Uhhh, I’m  doing a little woodworking.. I’ll pass.  “OK, we’ll give you some time alone in the shop.”  Ahhh, what a woman!
• 2:26:18 – Wife comes back out to garage to gather beach accouterments.  Asks why A/C unit is on and reminds me of the cost of the power bill.  I nod, distracted. She leaves for beach with boys in tow.
• 2:20:00 – 2:35:00 – Cut and glue walnut pieces to build walnut ‘legs’ for the box.
• 2:35:00 – 2:40:00 – Take a break.
• 2:40:00 – 3:00:00 – Use Kehoe jig to cut dovetail slots in corners of the box.
• 3:00:00 – 3:25:00 – Cut dovetail splines on table saw and glue splines into slots.  Wonder what I did wrong – this took what seems like just too little time.  Shrug shoulders and continue.
• 3:25:00 – 3:30:00– Fit lid to box. Tune edge of walnut ‘plug’ with shoulder plane to ensure proper fit.
• 3:30:00 – 3:45:00 – Edge profile lid with an ogee bit.
• 3:45:00 – 3:55:00 – Start working on lid handle.
• 3:55:00 – 4:20:00 – Realize that the shop is now a mess with sawdust and router cuttings all over the floor. Knowing that the no one else would clean this up, I break out the shop vac and start to clean.  Stare in dumb amazement at pile of tools necessary to get to this point.
• 4:20:35 – Know when to say when. At this point, my feet were getting a little sore and I was getting tired.  I’ve discovered that it’s always a good idea to break for the day – or an extended rest – once I get to this point.  This way, I can prevent goof-ups and – even worse – accidents.
• 4:26:48 – Crack open beer and relax on couch.

Sure, the box isn’t done yet.  However, with the wedding set for May 9, I still  have a little over a week to complete.  The remaining tasks include sanding down the dovetail splines to make them flush, working on the box handle, sanding and finishing.

I’ll pick up the count when I get back to the shop!

I  have always had a fascination with writing.  Back in fourth grade, I won a short story contest for my class.  I started writing for the school newspaper in seventh grade.  And, while I was in high school, I routinely took extra credit writing assignments to help boost my grades. Some grades needed more help than others.

Writing provides me a powerful way to express myself and gives me the freedom to be as creative, analytic and persuasive as possible.

Unfortunately, English is beset with several complex rules pulled from Romance, Germanic and other language families. I’ve discovered that many of the people who routinely point out when I run afoul of the rules of grammar – also known as the Grammar Police – can barely string together a coherent sentence on their own.  It’s kind of like someone having a mastery of every nuance of a driver’s manual, but routinely getting into traffic accidents and receiving tickets for moving violations.

The one rule that drives me up the wall is the one about NOT ending sentences with a preposition.  I’ve looked through books on the subject, but have yet to find a reason why this rule is enforced so rigorously.

Great writers will routinely ignore this rule – most famously was Sir Winston Churchill.  Once, a clerk returned a memo to Churchill after circling a sentence ending in a preposition.  Showing his disdain – and just how awkward this rule is to apply in writing – Churchill tersely penned a reply and returned it to the clerk – “This is the sort of pedantic nonsense up with which I shall not put.”

What’s the reason why so many Grammar Police point out this ‘mistake’?  Because, somewhere in their education, they had an English teacher who made a big stink about it.  It’s not in a manual or a well-written paper on the matter, but pulled from their personal memories of sweating under the stern glare of their fifth grade grammar instructor.  They will hem and haw for a while, and then say, “Because, that’s the way it’s done…”

In woodworking, many woodworkers fall into the same trap.  As skills are learned from a beloved shop teacher,  a woodworking school or a video produced by a famous woodworker, many of the individual preferences of the instructor are passed along as inviolable rules and regulations to another group of students.

One classic  example of this personal-preference-becoming-law scenario has to do with how Norm Abram instructed woodworkers for more than a decade on the New Yankee Workshop. For many woodworkers, NYW is a bellwether.  If Norm uses a certain tool to perform a certain task, many budding woodworkers will dutifully march down to their home improvement center or woodworking store and plunk down their hard-earned money.  If Norm cuts a joint one particular way, viewers have a tendency to abandon methods that work for them to use the described technique.  And, if Norm uses a particular species of wood for a project, a visit to the Q&A section of the NYW website will show that woodworkers frequently write in for ‘permission’ to use a different species in their iteration of the project.

The one example of how widespread his influence is shows in his method for gluing up panels.  Once Norm got his first biscuit jointer, every single long grain to long grain joint was reinforced with biscuits.  The only exception was if the boards were too thin to accept them.

It’s well documented in  woodworking magazines and scads of books that the strongest glue joints are those that involve gluing long grain to long grain – what you see running the entire length of a panel glue up.  Tests have routinely shown that the wood will fail before a well-prepared glue joint, regardless of the type of glue being used.

Yet, even knowing these circumstances, woodworkers will dutifully retrieve their biscuit jointers with their clamps and glue before assembling panels.  I did it, and many other woodworkers did, and still do.  Yet, when I ask these folks why they use the biscuits in their joints, few could agree on the reasons why.  “It’s for reinforcement.” “They are for alignment purposes.” “They help the boards resist the effects of cupping and warping.”

The reasons were varied, but more often than not the main explanation was, “That’s how Norm does it.”

Please understand I’m not knocking Norm.  In recent years, he has shied away from using biscuits on his edge joints, and has taken the time to explain why. He’s a very skilled woodworker, an effective communicator and is the first woodworker to use TV to develop a massive following.  So, when every season of NYW rolls around on PBS, fans look to see what new tools, projects and techniques are being rolled out.

What I love most about woodworking is that there are many ways to get from a stack of dead tree flesh to an heirloom project.  While someone with the influence of a Norm Abram may use a table saw to cut a dado, you will also see Roy Underhill use a plow plane, Pat Warner grab his router or a woodworker from down the street use a totally different tool or technique. There is no one ‘right’ way to arrive at your goal.

What I encourage all of you to do is try several methods when you need to build a project.  Take the time to explore you options, evaluate what tools you already have on hand and determine the method that works best for you.  That’s where the real discovery of woodworking lies, and it’s easily within your grasp.

Tonight’s homework – I want a 500 word essay on sawdust and the best way to remove it from your carpet before your spouse goes ballistic.

Class dismissed.

Don Vito Corleone lay in a hospital bed clinging dearly to life after an attempt on his life by the the Turk, Sollozzo.  Vito’s son, Santino, paced angrily, demanding vengeance for this act. Family Consigliare Tom Hagen urged patience, asking Santino to get control of his anger.

Finally, after much heated debate, the Don’s youngest son Michael spoke up.  Someone who had been formerly shielded from the family ‘business’, Michael offers to take matters into his hands and ‘take care’ of Sollozzo.  When asked by Santino if this was in response to being slapped around by a crooked cop on Sollozzo’s payroll, Michael responded by saying, “It’s not personal, Sonny. It’s strictly business.”

Of course, I am referring to one of the most remembered scenes of was has been argued to be one of the greatest movies of all time, The Godfather.

Now, what does this have to do with woodworking – besides all of that gorgeous dark woodworking and paneling found in Don Vito’s office?

Well, plenty.  This scene flashed into my mind several times while I was reading Dan Ramsey’s book The Woodworker’s Guide to Pricing Your Work.  Dan’s book goes into great detail about how to figure your shop costs, how to track your expenses and how to increase your profits. By following the recommendations in  his book, you can learn how to turn your hobby into a paying business that can let you buy new tools, enjoy some extra night life or even quit your job.

The book is extremely clinical and unimpassioned.  This is a very good thing, because running a business needs to be looked at in the cold light of reason and analysis. By getting emotionally involved in the process, you might make bad decisions which can derail your success.

But, I don’t think Dan addressed one of the most important aspects of running a woodworking business – pulling yourself out of the work. Let me explain…

When I build woodworking projects, I typically build for one of  three ‘audiences’.  First, there’s me and my family.  Projects such as the draw leaf table, entertainment center or my kitchen’s pantry were built with a specific purpose in mind – to fill a particular need.  Our family needed a place to sit and eat dinner.  Bam. And, it was built. The only person who has to be made happy is my wife – and she’s pretty understanding.

The other purpose I build for are items to be given as a gift.  Small gift crosses, desktop boxes and cradles have all progressed out of my shop to the hands of grateful recipients.  These too are easy to make and give, because the recipient of such a gift of time and effort always appreciated.

But, the third and most challenging purpose are items built for sale.  Whether a commission for a customer or a piece built on spec and later sold, this is where things get a little dicey.  After all, you are building something in exchange for cash or some other commodity (Hey, Bob, you are plumber… how about I build you something in exchange for installing my sink…), and these folks can make things a bit more difficult.

So far, I have lucked out.  The people who have bought my stuff have appreciated the value of hand-crafted work and have trusted me to do what I do best.

I have also heard about nightmare clients.  People who change their minds on wood stain color after the piece is already stained.  People who ask if the size or the complexity of the piece can be changed after materials are purchased and work has started.  And, people who will carefully examine every detail of the final piece looking for what they consider major flaws in order to haggle down the agreed price.

That might make you uncomfortable.  After all, haven’t you poured your time and creativity into the project?  Didn’t you agonize over grain matching and panel colors?  Isn’t it your baby?  HOW DARE THOSE PEOPLE!

Deep breath.  Have a cannoli. Serenity now….

Hey, to each or her own.  And, if this is how folks like this want to conduct business… well, that says something about them.

However, as a woodworker selling your products, you have to remember the line delivered by Michael Corleone in the Don’s office… it’s only business.  Nothing personal.  Even though you’d like to roll your eyes and call your client an idiot, you have to fight the urge and realize that you are conducting a business transaction.

Some of the things I know professional woodworkers do to help prevent issues with their clients is to first spell out the agreement in some form of a contract.  No, you don’t have to hire an attorney, but even a letter noting the date construction will commence, approximately how long the project will take, which key milestones you will have contact with the client, the payment schedule (half down on agreement, the other half on delivery) and the final price of the piece.

Another way to prevent issues with your client is to show scale drawings or computer renderings so the client will understand what the finished piece will look like.  This is a great time to get feedback before construction starts and materials are purchased.

Showing sample boards with finish examples will certainly go a long way toward showing the client what the finished product will be, as well as demonstrating your finishing skills.

Finally, and most importantly, it’s important to stick to your deadlines, communicate with your clients and deliver the best product you can. By taking these simple steps, you can make the entire experience a pleasant one for everyone.

While slight mistakes are almost inevitable in large projects, your pride in craftsmanship will always come through.  Someone who is coming to you and not headed to a large box mega-retailer is especially sensitive and appreciative of quality personalized craftsmanship.  Besides, aren’t those ‘mistakes’ really design features?

And remember, once they get hooked on your work, you’ll then be able to make them an offer they can’t refuse – to build more stuff!